eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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