Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
