1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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