put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Quick, to the slutcave!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
