hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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