so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
