big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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