she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize