Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
