You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize