Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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