so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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