Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I need to calm my uterus...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize