are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
