Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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