At least make sure they are 18
Why
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
