Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize