Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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