had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
