it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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