I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
