1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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