Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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