it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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