i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
