its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
