he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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