Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
