Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
