I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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