I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize