I'm jealous of your bromance
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
