Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
