Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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