Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
