Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
