Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
