I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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