just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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