Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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