I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
