It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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