my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
