i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
