college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
