Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
