ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
