why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
