So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize