You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
These tits shall not be calmed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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