My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My feet surprised me
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