You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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