Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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