He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
