then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
