I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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