i jhust puked up my retainher.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
