a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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