she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
