Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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