I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
