im gay
i know
yea but for you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize