OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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