I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Randomize
