I think I just saw someone hide a body.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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