My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
