Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
