is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
