My hair reeks of homosexuality.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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