Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
